I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
