You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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