I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
