Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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