If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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