It's a beautiful day for a hangover
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
