I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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