Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
