Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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