Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No subtext here. People are naked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
