Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
