wrigley field is MILF paradise
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
