Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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