we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
