Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This is my gift to your gina
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
