Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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