not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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