i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
