but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize