Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
