I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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