On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
