I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had to cum in my sink.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
