he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
