If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
