Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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