he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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