I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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