party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize