the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
