i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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