You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
