i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
