so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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