ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
