Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
