We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
