i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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