we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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