she woke up with a sticky ear
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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