Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
kristin has been a bad kristin
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
