he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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