OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
