On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
