Can i not drive my cunt home
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
