Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
