zippers are such a cool invention
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
