there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
