Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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