i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
no you cant smoke seaweed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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