How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
