so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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