Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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