I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
