i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I came so hard my ears popped.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
