he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
