Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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