we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
