I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wanna passion pit in your ass
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
