and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
