imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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