My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
