He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
