I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize